Bubbie Bazachero respects his elders
Edward Dale Bazachero is an odd young man. The twenty six year old soft tosser for the Akron Aeros, the AA affiliate of the Cleveland Indians, may never get to the show, but his nickname is already big league material.
Ed earned his the nickname “Bubbie” two seasons ago when he played for Dunedin in the Florida State League. Teammates detected a disturbing pattern in the women the youthful Bazachero courted. He had what could charitably called a peculiar penchant for elderly women of the kosher persuasion.
Yes, fast Eddie is a Bubbie chaser. He desires Yentas bending back his ear, or random appendages depending on the strength of their prescription pills. Bubbie claims the woman of his generation do not stimulate him. They never mail checks on his birthday, dress in layers or have exact change at the check- out line. Moreover,they are incapable of carrying on a one way conversation that ends in a rhetorical question. He enjoys the companionship of his elders, listening to their kvetching playing gin. Sometimes, he just likes to watch.
Bazachero vehemently denies any sexual involvement with his aged ingenues. His coaches and teammates take him at his word, as vivid visuals of a trans generational tryst threaten the successful completion of their season. What takes place outside the foul lines is between him, his sofa and Dr. Phil.
Bubbie’s mood noticeably soured with his promotion to Akron last season. Eligible Jewish women over thrice his age do not congregate in large numbers throughout the Heartland. Bingo nights at the senior center gave him fleeting moments of pleasure, but they pale in comparison to his summers basking in the Ben Gay glow of the Florida State League.
With Spring Training approaching, Bazachero is anxious to show his stuff in Winter Haven, both on and off the field. Should he fail to land a slot in the Cleveland bullpen, a promotion to AAA to pitch for the Buffalo Bison promises to reinvigorate Bubbie’s social life. Buffalo may be no Dunedin, but it is a short drive to New York City. What better place for Bubbie to hook up the widow of his dreams? He can smell the small inheritance already.
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